It’s done. Two and a half years of agony are over, and I have a nice, shiny, cemented hip prosthesis. I was so well looked after- even in theatre as they administered the spinal injection that paralysed me from the waist down. I knew nothing after being repositioned on the bed, as someone else was feeding the general anaesthetic into my wrist canulla while a third person was calming me (his name was Vlad, and he promised not to bite. We like Vlad).
I awoke three hours later, feeling remarkably good. Thanks, NHS!