Chinese Tea (Or How To Get Completely Rat-Arsed Without Alcohol)

Chinese Tea

I am drunk. High. Shit-faced. Raddled. Call it what you will, but I can safely say that I am high as a kite. And I’ve not been anywhere near the falling-down-juice.

How, you might ask? Just head over to chinalife and read Tea Master Don Mei’s blog. He can teach you all about it, but take it from me that – when done correctly – these seemingly innocuous little cups of the Amber Nectar are powerful shots of Drunk in disguise. I have not stopped giggling or floating all day. And by all day, I really do mean All Day. Everything is funny; even George Osborne is funny. (Okay, possibly not George Osborne, but you get my drift).

Alishan Cream

Today’s tea of choice was this wonderful Alishan Cream. I don’t break it out very often because it’s really quite costly, but it is truly glorious and one that – even on my limited budget – is never allowed to run out. It’s delicate, and yet the natural biscuit and vanilla notes really shine through. It’s a beautiful tea if you want something that doesn’t have too much “bite”.

Alishan Cream Brewing

For me there is only one way to drink Chinese tea, and that is in the traditional gongfu fashion. I adore this tiny glass teapot because I can see my tea brewing, and the leaves unfurling (if you look at the photo of the pack, you will notice that the leaves are dried in little round balls, similar to the gunpowder tea my husband loves so much). This particular tea takes about 30 seconds to brew (a long time for gongfu), after which I transfer it to my china gongfu pot (which is blue and yellow and has dragons emblazoned on it and oh my goodness I need to get a photograph of it because it’s beautiful). I am so creamed that I think my face is melting.

You can get up to eight infusions out of this tea, which gives you about five gongfu cups each time (that’s if you fill the glass pot twice, as it doesn’t hold much – especially once the tea unfurls and increases in weight and volume). By my third infusion I was pleasantly cheerful, and at the end of the fourth I was giggling at just about everything – but nobody can tell me that a poll to name a ship Boaty McBoatface isn’t ridiculously funny. Especially not if you remember the Tenth Doctor’s “Mister Thick Thickety Thickton” speech.

I managed to get a full eight infusions out of it, and now there are Dragons in the bathroom.

Seriously, if you intend to make like a Bhuddist monk and attain a floaty, happy feeling whilst meditating (or even just because you can) then this is the tea for you. Delicious, calming, and many times the fun of vodka. Bonus points for the fact that tea is good for you, and so you really cannot drink too much.

Boaty McBoatface…


6 thoughts on “Chinese Tea (Or How To Get Completely Rat-Arsed Without Alcohol)

  1. wow, drunk on tea! Mind you, I”ve got some coconut green tea that’s awfully nice – and it’s particularly good in glass somehow because it looks so pretty. Plus – I am happy to have finally found you after numerous searches for Tribble on the interwebs!

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