Hip-Cracking Misery, And Bad Bedside Manners

I had my CT scan a week ago, and we trundled back to hospital on Monday for the results and a plan of action. Except I didn’t get to see my lovely, laid-back surgeon; I got stuck with his boss – the one that I disliked on sight when he came to my bedside in hospital.

He didn’t show me the CT pictures and he didn’t acknowledge Dom at all. At one point, he abruptly left the room without a word, while I was halfway through answering a question!

He asked where I felt that the pain was coming from (screws or hip) – but I’m not sure how he expected me to be able to tell him because I’m not a surgeon. I told him “both”, because that’s the truth. He finally examined me, before doing what he was there to do in the first place – telling me the results of the CT and where we go from here.

The fracture hasn’t even begun to heal. It’s only because of the (loose) screws holding me together that I can walk at all. This guy says he wants to leave me like this for another six months, in case the fracture actually mends itself.

How about NO! I can’t go on with heavy doses of Cocodamol, the occasional spoonful of Oramorph and self medication with gin. I can’t go on screaming in pain at night. It’s distressing Dom as much as it’s distressing me, and that is simply not good enough.

I’m getting a second opinion in a couple of weeks, after calling my GP to tell her I wasn’t happy. She told me how to get hold of the surgeon’s secretary, so that I could request that I never see this man again – and I put in a complaint to PALS while I was at it.

The pain worsens by the day. I am not waiting six months to see if the fracture will heal. It ought to have mended by the end of June, and it hasn’t done – so why would it suddenly start to knit now? No, I need a hip replacement. I know my age is a concern, but people younger than me have hip replacements, and I don’t think I deserve to be left like this when I could have emergency surgery tomorrow.

To say that I detest people like this man would be being polite. I’m not going to risk being in a wheelchair for life, simply because he’s chosen to leave me as I am and risk the damage potentially getting worse. Why should I? Why should anybody?

I would love to get back to blogging fun things, but for now it’s best that other hip patients my age or younger can find me, and know that they’re not alone.

18 thoughts on “Hip-Cracking Misery, And Bad Bedside Manners

  1. Gemma, I’m so sorry that you’re still in such awful pain, and that you’ve had to interact with this man again. I can’t believe that he thinks that the fracture will somehow start to heal itself now and over the next six months, when it hasn’t begun to knit at all so far. And walking out of the room while you were answering his question, and failing to acknowledge Dom, is the height of rudeness! I’m speechless!

    I hope your request not to see him again succeeds, and that your PALS complaint is taken proper heed of. But above all, I hope that you now get your second opinion very soon, followed quickly by a hip replacement and an end to your pain as soon as possible.

    I’ll be thinking of you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s unbelievable, Andrew – all I want is to be able to get out of my wheelchair now and then! I can walk around the house with a stick, but for outside it has to be the chair. I’ll still need it for big events due to other reasons, but I don’t want my hip to be one of them. I cant bathe unaided, I can’t sleep properly – and this in turn is affecting Dom, who doesn’t have the opportunity to recoup his rest.

      Whoever I’ve been passed on to, I think I need to lay it all on the line – that I can’t live this way, and that it’s not only my life this is affecting.


  2. With your medical options do you have the ability to seek a second opinion? We do that here in the US but I didn’t know if that was available to you. Goodness, I’m sorry you are having such a time with this… and I love that you consider that Dom doesn’t get rest and can’t recoup from losing sleep. We don’t often think of those who must care for us when we’re down.I’m sending positive vibes your way, my friend!! ~ Lori

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Lori; I’m already booked in elsewhere for a second opinion. I just can’t believe that this “specialist” thinks I can survive for six months with a hip that’s broken, on medication that doesn’t really do much (I’m fairly impervious to morphine; at most it makes me sleepy).

      Apparently walking on it should help the fracture to heal. I do walk around the house (you could never use a wheelchair in here) but the fracture is still there and so I think his logic is insane. I’ve progressed from a walking frame to two walking sticks to one walking stick at home, and it’s not going to get better than that. When out and about, my wheelchair is a neccesity – but I see it as giving me freedom to leave the house, as opposed to any negative connotations. Without it, I’d not get out of the house at all.

      Thank you for stopping by, lovely; I hope that things are going well for you and yours. ~ Gemma x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am so sorry that you are going thru such a painful (physically and mentally) ordeal. May your hip heal and you get all the great doctors, people, and feelings that help expedite the healing process. It is gonna happen – it is gonna heal. Hang in there! and good luck with the second opinion!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. At this juncture, I just want a new hip. I want to be able to walk independantly again. I miss pickling and breadmaking – and I had so many plans for the garden this year that never happened because of this. I’ve got a male tarantula who needs to go off to meet the female that a friend has, but I’m in no state to pack him myself, and so Dom is going to have to deliver him to another friend who can.

      I genuinely hope that whoever gives me the second opinion decides that I can’t be left for another six months in such pain.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll know more within the next ten days. I can feel the fractured edges rubbing together, and the screws moving about, and it’s just awful!

      I can’t go another six months like this: as my best friend said, you wouldn’t do this to someone’s pet – so why should someone do this to any hip patient? It’s obvious that I need a full replacement, so I’m pushing for it as hard as I can.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am sorry you are still in so much pain.
    I don’t think it would hurt to get another doctors opinion. Usually pain is a good indicator to let you know something is not right.

    Regarding the recommendation of your OS to walk on the hip. He is actually correct to suggest this, as crazy as it sounds.
    I was told the same thing, to put gradually more weight on it.

    You want your bone to start forming new bone and by walking on it, it will apply pressure and kind of aggravate the bone which in return stimulates bone growth.
    If things are aligned right, this is the correct suggestion by him.

    I hope you can get a second opinion by a knowledgeable and kind OS soon. I hate to read you are still in pain and struggling.

    Best wishes for relief and answers. XOX

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, lovely; I do bimble about the house (albeit with a stick) as much as I can. Unfortunately the fracture has simply refused to heal, and I can hear and feel the bones clicking, and feel the bones rubbing together in spite of the screws. It’s agony, and I still can’t put my full weight on it, which in turn is affecting my left knee and my right hip. I’m on quite a few medications that weaken bones, and the general consensus is that I probably have osteoporosis (the femur shrinking is, apparently, almost conclusive proof that I have it).

      I do hope to get better results with someone else, as it’s plain to me that the screws have failed due to my own weak bones, and that this horrible man considered my young age ahead of a lot of more important things (such as being on medications that weaken bones, but keep me alive).

      The second opinion appointment is within the next ten days, and I’m going to hit them with how it’s affecting my husband and not just me. Perhaps I’ll turn on the waterworks (I knew those drama lessons in school would pay off some day). Anything it takes to get me a new hip xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hearing your bones rub and click is not good. There is something called “delayed union” but I am not sure about the noises you are hearing.

        Definitely get a second opinion and make sure he/ she answers all questions and concerns you have.
        This injury and recovery is super tough and is not to be taken lightly.
        I also understand how it takes a toll on your husband.

        I hope to hear better news next time in your blog. I sincerely keep my fingers crossed for you. You deserve a break. 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  5. And using gin as a painkiller won’t be much good for your liver or kidneys either, given that they’ve previously seen some heavy duty in that area.

    Hope your GP is able to help you with getting this resolved.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am sorry to hear you are in such pain. It seems all too often, they (doctors) are so ignore-ant (spelling intentional because they effectively ignore us) that they think of us as number before people. I blogged about this recently. It is a shame you have to resort to self-medicating. I know what you mean about morphine, it’s like as much water to me. You should be taken seriously, regardless of the position, or opinion, of the practitioner.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I don’t want to be drinking so much, and my cirrhosis is back due to that *and* the opiates, but for now I just have to manage as best I can.

      Fortunately, my liver consultant is aware of the pain I’m in, and also aware of what I’m having to resort to in order to control it. He’s actually been quite instrumental in getting me an appointment with the pain clinic.


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