I don’t remember how long I was sober for, before Iain Duncan Smith took a massive shit on disabled people all over the UK (stress, panic and fear are not conducive to remaining sober when your entire world feels as though it’s ending). I immediately freaked, tried to jump out of the bedroom window, and hit the wine.
Of course, I convinced myself that I could stop any time.
And, of course, I discovered that I couldn’t.
That was getting on for three years ago, and today is my first day sober. Elderflower cordial was my saviour before, and it has been today. I have a support network that I didn’t really have much of last time. Even Dom is quitting with me.
I’m not an alcoholic, but I am a problem drinker. I don’t wake up and grab the beer before my eyes are even open, but over the course of the day I’ll start thinking about popping a beer through sheer boredom – it’s difficult to keep yourself amused when you’re stuck in the bedroom with a bum hip (still no operation date to get the screws out).
So, today I’ve been pottering around on Runescape, spending time hanging out with fellow sober and trying-to-get-sober people on a new Facebook group created by the inimitable Jon (<~~~ here’s his blog; it’s an absolute scream to read and proves that living sober in the fast lane is both possible and enjoyable), necking elderflower cordial like it’s going out of fashion and looking forward to sea bass for dinner – I’m properly hungry for the first time in what seems like forever.
This evening I shall be watching crime shows whilst drinking a rather marvellous puerh tea:
I already feel more alert, less than 24 hours into my sober journey, and even the fog caused by the ME has cleared.
Who knows? Maybe, one day, the tables will turn and I’ll get to take a massive shit on Iain Duncan Smith and his draconian, frankly cruel, reforms to the benefits system. Running him over with my wheelchair is far more likely, but a girl can dream…